DAY 31

I don't think I have any true friends. Lol. Have a friend like you I rather have no friend. Really fkmylife.  Everything I do, you copy, then credits goes to you. Always choose the choice where it benefits you and doesnt even care about how I feel. Tell me the truth ok. No need to hide or what. I rather know the truth. 

During the 24hours or so-called period of time, when you went against me, I felt really broken and vulnerable. I was also utterly disappointed because I trusted you so much in the past. But wait, I was in the wrong too. I was also responsible for the crack in our friendship. Thus, I sit infront of my computer and started crying... over spilled milk. It was totally filled with hatred and the sense of betrayal. It was really horrible. 

Having a enemy where it attacks you is much better than a fake friends who stab behind you. If you don't like me, just tell me lah. ACT ACT ACT. After those message you texted, I tell myself to calm down, and I managed to just swing my mood. And fake a smile. Although I felt really broken inside. This is life, I have to accept it. I rather know a truth that breaks me down then happy with the lies you told me. 

Your one sentence make me so touched. "I just don't like them to talk bad about you." But then why you still show me attitude? -stiff stiff- OI JIAXUAN, FAKE A SMILE, MOVE ON. I felt really really broken now. I'm still trying to save our friendship. Maybe we ain't that close enough for you to accept my joke. Nobody will understands me. ); I didn't even tell my closest friends my problems. I rather tell it to online friends, at least they are nt close enough to hurt you. 

I will continue to fake a smile, like nothing happened, although it was hard, but I will bear with it. Just for this last few months.. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be so mad. The minute I done crying,  I became a different person. I was no longer the kind of person who would beg for forgiveness from my friends. I tell myself, THIS IS ME, I'M PROUD OF IT. And why getting mad at my friends who cannot accept for who I am? Thinking back, actually I'm one of the lucky people than my friends- thus, I don't know how explain. But I'll just leave it for god to plan, I know he means well. Maybe this is just a part of the life chapter he's teaching. 

Thus, I will not see her as my friend anymore..